Uncategorized By Feb 09, 2022 2 Comments

Stay woke. 

This is more than a catch phrase, but a state of being. Moreover, one can be awake physically, but asleep mentally. On the other hand, meditation, which is a practice of being, involves closing our eyes, as if we were asleep, yet we are awake to all the senses and sounds around us; present with our reality perhaps more than the rest of the day. Revelation 3:1-2 shows us this same paradox: 

“…I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up!…”

The imagery and messages of the book of Revelation are so powerful. This Word pierces my soul knowing I can do a lot of good things, but still be asleep. Asleep as a Mom, because let’s be honest, I’m not getting paid for any of the good deeds that Motherhood requires. Yet, is this how God wants me to be? Clearly, no. The truth is: Be woke!

For two years, my husband and I struggled with infertility. After two long years, we knew that whether or not we had a child of our own, we wanted a family. Although we had fostered a few children already, we were ready to continue, and even consider adoption. Shortly after that conversation, we were ecstatic to learn that I was pregnant. I was so excited to be a Mom! Zebedee is a gift God has given my husband and I. In fact, his name means “gift of God”; Still, though I know he his a gift, I do not always step into being the ideal Mother I was at the beginning (whatever the perfect mother looks like). Honestly, I ask myself, have I grown tired of the repetitive play while staying cooped up in this house (pandemic + winter in Wisconsin = cooped up)?

There may be a sad truth wrapped up in these questions. The beautiful lyrics to this song brings light into the darkness of these questions:

For we’ve grown older than our God
We’ve grown older than our God
You are forever young
Bright morning star
An unsetting sun
You are forever young
Hear our Father singing out to us
When we’ve grown older than our God

– Forever Young by Chris Renzema

Despite a real struggle of being a Mom and all the questions that come with it, God sees me. 

God sees me as His child, and here’s the good news: God never grows old of His children, but always delights in them.

Stay woke!


Child of God, wife of an amazing husband, Momma, and a wannabe foodie.


  1. Cindy says:

    Nicole, I had those thoughts when you were growing up! I still realize that I was not the perfect Mother, but I always knew how much I loved you and couldn’t imagine my life without you! And now you are a Mother and have the same thoughts! I always knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel, as I always preserved! You have a beautiful husband and son and have truly been blessed ! Love your writings!

  2. Kelly Russo says:

    I just love this. Yes, STAY WOKE, even in the mundane and repetitive things of life. And do everything unto the Lord! Thank you for sharing and being vulnerable. ❤️

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